“Hey, there is a bird on your shoulder”

We are living in turbulent times that are creating deep divides in our planet and shock waves that are crossing countries and impacting whole communities. We feel in our hearts the pain of others, which is often added to our own grief for the loss of a loved one, a separation, an illness, or an unresolved conflict.

And yet, in the midst of our personal and collective sadness, we also see glimpses of joy, moments of happiness, and laughter. Pain and joy are never far apart.

The poet Ross Gay talks about the connection between delight and despair, and how we can find joy in a world in turmoil. He describes joy not as an isolated state to be longed for or achieved, but as the result of “mourning together”, of sharing our sorrows with others. A birth brings joy because it is evidence of love. Similarly, death brings despair because we love. When we come together to mourn the death of someone, the warmth of others is a balm to our broken heart. We feel joy because we are not alone and feel cared for. Because we are aware of the value of life. When we experience pain in community, pain and joy always walk side by side.

Finding a tribe that can support us when our heart aches and becoming a part of it so we can also support others. This is the secret. Participating in life by giving and receiving. Extending a hand both to ask for help and offer it.

Community brings solace to our soul. A meditation hub, a crochet association, a meetup group, a soccer team, a language class, a local choir, any excuse is a good one to connect and share. To be seen, heard and celebrated in all our greatness doesn’t require a fancy space. It is not what we do but how we do it. When we go hiking with others, we dance, we play chess or we volunteer, we become witnesses of the life of others.

”Hey, there is a bird on your shoulder”. Ross Gay reminds us that when life turns grey, sometimes we need someone to help us rediscover the colors that had been fading.

My wish is that we all find our little tribe to care and be cared for when the soil cracks open under our feet.

Photo: Pep Gasol