Life is a Constant Movement of Reconciliation

When we were conceived, we were created from a woman and a man. Our life started with the union of our mother and our father. In our body we reconcile both energies, the feminine and the masculine, and we also unite both family systems.

Therefore, mother, father, and life are the same.

Our mother introduces us into life. Through our birth, our mother links the past and the present. Through her we are connected to our past, to our internal world, and our emotions, we learn to bond and love, and we experience the joy of life.

Our father connects us to our future, to our strength, and to our capacity to adapt to life and to stay alive. Through our father we learn how to take action, how to fulfill our projects, and stay connected to our reality.

So, our parents came into union in us and they were perfect in that union. This is how they became our parents. They fulfilled their role: to give us life. If we can embrace our parents, we join the feminine and the masculine in ourselves and we connect to our source of our life through all our ancestors.

Embracing our parents requires from us to let go of our expectations (of what they will never be able to give us), to let go of our need to change them (they came first and gave us life, which is what matters), to let go of our judgements towards them (they also had their own entanglements and could not do it differently), and to give up any preference (to take and love them both in the same way, in a kind of radical and spiritual love more than an emotional one).

After this first reconciliation, life will bring us new dualities, new opportunities to practice reconciliation. It will confront us with challenges that will recreate polarities: us and our challenge, us and our reality. If we can surrender and say yes to the challenge, the challenge may dissolve and we will transcend the polarity, becoming one again. Until life brings us a new challenge for us to grow, in a never-ending succession of duality and unity.

Sometimes surrendering to our difficulties or conflicts in life will be enough to transform them into a source of energy, creativity, and new possibilities. This is the type of work that we can do on our own. The practice of systemic movements can help us deal with our everyday issues, so we can find more ease and harmony in our life.

If we have to deal with bigger challenges, though, we might need someone to help us see the deeper dynamics involved. A constellation can reveal the unconscious entanglements from the past that are manifesting through our challenge. The transgenerational conflict that wants our attention. It gives us information about the excluded members and events of the system that need to be seen, honored, and given a place. So, the past stays in the past, and we can choose to act differently today.

Gregory Bateson said that we cannot solve a problem on the same level of consciousness as it was created, that we need to reach a higher level.

Constellations open the possibility to get in touch with our personal, systemic, and spiritual conscience, showing us how connected we are to the fields of our family, humanity, and life. They offer a space where we can grasp the greatness of life and our role in the destiny of our family system and the collective. "The family constellations are useful when the symptoms are known, but the underlying systemic dynamic isn't yet visible." Bert Hellinger.

Photo: Pep Gasol